we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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