I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize