break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
