New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
