Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize