I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
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