Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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