Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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