I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
