I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
