He disabled his match.com account in front of me
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
