I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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