break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
