I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
