The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
