We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
