Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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