everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
