White coat. Heels.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
