Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
