What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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