in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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