watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
