Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
