Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
