I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
even my farts smell like vagina
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
