i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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