I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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