Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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