I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
that is very illegal...i love you.
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