I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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