there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
