I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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