If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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