i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My nipple is on Facebook.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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