my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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