Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
