saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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