Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
