It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Yo dont text me then not text me
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
