Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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