I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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