can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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