So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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