If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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