we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
