Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize