is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just had sex on a roof
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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