Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
