direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
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