I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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