Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
