i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
