put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
