They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize