What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
