you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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