Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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