i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Is that strawberry winking at me??
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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