i wish peter jackson would direct porn
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
