just come out here and I will go home with you...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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