is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
