you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
